A letter to my younger self

Hey guys. I wanted to write this post for a while now, but I always postponed it because it didn’t feel right. I was afraid because what I’ve written here, it’s a huge part of my life, it’s who I am, and the idea that it would be out in the open, terrified me…but I think I am ready now to share with you the biggest parts of my life.


 

Hush, I know you are scared. I know you think that you are not good enough.  I know how they make you feel. I know there are times you doubt yourself, you believe that you are not meant for this and maybe you are right. But you will get through it. Even if it’s hard to believe right now, there’s going to come a day where you will come across with extraordinary people. Some will leave you, some you will leave them, some they will stay, but trust me, whatever happens is for your own good.

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While you are at primary school everything goes great, you have your best friend and many others. Your family is happy and you have everything you need. I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s not always going to be like this. It’s not possible, not for you, not for anyone. As soon as you go to middle school, people will betray you and leave you, that’s okay though because you will meet this girl and you will actually believe and feel that she’s your soulmate but you are wrong. Yes, she will fill a void inside of you for a long period of time but, she will leave you as well, she will give up on you but that doesn’t mean that she will stop caring. She still cares, she’s just not ready and too afraid of the world, herself.

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Throughout high school, you will meet two other girls and for a while everything goes great, but the one will get a boyfriend and the other will think that you are not good enough for her, so you will be left out once again. You will hide your emotions, you are used to people leaving you behind, them going on with their lives. You won’t hate them, you will support their decisions and you will be happy for them, because that’s the kind of person you are. And believe me when I say this, life, the universe, God will reward you.

During your high school years, there’s going to be this boy and you will fall deeply in love with him. He won’t feel it back, typical. He will steal your best years as a teenager, but as the badass person that you are going to be, you will not break down. You will hold your head high and you will move on. It’s going to take you a while to get over it, over him but you will. For a while you will be alone, you won’t like anyone, neither you will be interested in those kind of feelings. But it will be for the best. For 18 years you always put the others above yourself so you kind of lost who you are. After all the heartbreak and people leaving you, you will learn who you really are. You will start putting yourself first.

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When you are off to college, your mother will reunite with an old friend and then is when your life finally finds its true meaning and purpose. You see, your mom’s old friend has this girl, she’s the same age as you and please I’m begging you, hold on tight to her. She’s going to show you the real world, she will awake you and you will find yourself. She’s a little bit messed up herself, but the both of you with the help of each other you will find your way. You will have each other’s backs. You will be so different and yet the same.

The saddest thing that will happen to you, is losing the first man you have ever loved and you will always love. Cancer is a horrible disease that wrecks most of the people’s life. It will wreck yours and your family’s as well. It won’t knock the door, it will take you by surprise and unprepared. You will be in denial at first, then you will start realizing it, although you will have hope. And when everything starts to seem fine and hopeful, it happens, you lose him. You feel sad and depressed, but you hide them all. You have all these mixed emotions and you don’t know what to do with them. People believe that you are doing fine because you are a very good actress, but little do they know. After your father passes away, you will release the love for poetry from inside you. All these emotions will become words in a paper and you will feel great afterwards.

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Poetry became your way out of all the nonsense. You found your passion and purpose. Everything that you will go through will make you who you are. So embrace the good and the bad. Don’t give up on people, on hope or yourself. Be patience and everything will find their way. I believe, you should too.

Styliana xxx

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13 thoughts on “A letter to my younger self”

  1. Its beautiful Styliana. I have always loved the letters to myself. And mostly the letter to younger self, cause the letters to future self never work the same for me. Keep writing, make way for the poetry!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree! Everything that we go through it’s a part of ourselves. We should embrace the good and the bad that comes along with life because it’s who we are. Thank you so much for reading my post and for your lovely words! xxx

      Like

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